The Revised Version of Angels

Thanks to a couple of gals who pushed me to "write better", this is the revised portion of the story that is in my head that is slowly emerging........Hope you enjoy the first few pages!

The end is always the worst.  Jeff sat in his small cubicle office on the tenth floor of the law firm downtown.  He stared blankly at the fall scene on his computer screen.  Jeff had always liked autumn.  Football, sweatshirts, the crisp smell of falling leaves in the air; those were the things Jeff looked forward to as the seasons began to change.  Jeff glanced out the floor-to-ceiling window that covered one wall of his office. He had been so excited when the boss showed him his new office.  A window! Perfection!  Jeff would often times take short breaks and watch the happenings of the city around him.  From his vantage point, he could see the lake, the park beside the lake and the downtown square that was always abuzz in the city.  Normally this scene would put a smile on Jeff's face, but not today.

            Jeff looked back at the computer screen, but his mind was not on the picture before him.  Last night, he and his girlfriend, Samantha, had experienced their worst fight since they had started dating over a year ago.  Jeff was convinced that Samantha was cheating on him with someone.  He couldn't pinpoint that "someone", but Jeff continued to have feelings of mistrust and anxiety when it came to his relationship with Sam. 

            "Why can't you just trust me, Jeff?"  Samantha said with tears streaming down her ivory face.  Jeff loved to touch her face.  It was always so smooth.  He loved looking into her dark brown eyes and kissing her soft-as-petal lips.  He often wondered how she kept her lips so soft, even in the dead of winter.

            Jeff ran his hands through his jet-black hair as he began to speak.  "That guy, at the restaurant just now.  You were making eyes at him and you would grin every time he passed by out table!" As Jeff said these words, he knew he sounded ridiculous.  He had a feeling, deep down in the pit of his stomach, that he was making a big mistake by not trusting Samantha.  However, his irrational thinking seemed to be taking over.

            "Jeff, how many times are we going to have to have this argument?  I love you, and only you!  Why can't you see that?" Samantha was pleading with Jeff.  He could see it in those beautiful, dark eyes.  He could hear it in the tone of her voice.  If he touched her, he knew he would be able to feel the love through her contact.  But for reasons unknown to him at the time, Jeff stepped away from Samantha. By taking that step, he sealed the fate of his relationship and his life.

            Samantha's eyes grew wide as she finally realized that Jeff would never be able to completely trust her.  Samantha gathered her purse and jacket from Jeff's couch. "Good-bye, Jeff.  I am so sorry.  Just remember that I love you so very, very much," Samantha turned and walked to the door. She paused a few seconds with her hand on the doorknob, hoping Jeff would run to her, tell her to stop.  Nothing.  Samantha took a deep breath and left Jeff's apartment without looking back.

            Jeff stood in the middle of the living room for what seemed like hours.  He continued to feed the negative feelings that he was having, convincing himself further that Samantha didn't really love him.  That there was no way he could ever trust her.  Occasionally, the thought of "you are being irrational, Jeff.  You need to rethink this situation and get control over your emotions" would roll through his mind, but he would shut that thought off quickly and continue to obsess over Samantha and her supposed infidelity.  By the time Jeff finally lay down on the couch, he was convinced that Samantha was not only cheating on him, but was in another relationship and was just using Jeff for his money.

            As Jeff drew himself back into the present, he was still staring blankly at the computer screen.  He looked at the time on the screen.  It read 11:30.  Had he really been sitting here inactive for almost 3 hours?  He hadn't even looked at the deposition he was supposed to be going over and then discussing at the meeting at twelve o'clock.  He couldn't do it.  There was no way he could focus.  I need to get out of this office and get some fresh air, Jeff thought to himself. 

            Jeff took the stairs to the fourteenth and highest floor of the building. He then opened the door and stepped out onto the roof.  Ahhh….the cool breeze was just what Jeff needed to clear his head.  As Jeff stepped further from the door, the autumn breeze turned into a gusty wind.  Jeff's tie began to whip around in front of his face as he walked around on the rooftop. 

            It only took a moment before Jeff's brain latched on to the obsessive thoughts again.  He sighed in exasperation. "What will it take for these thoughts to leave me?  I can't function like this!" Jeff was shouting these words with his face turned to the sky and his hands balled into a fist beside him.  He felt a tear trickle down his cheek.  Jeff felt a hopelessness surround him that he had never felt in his life.  It was as if cold hands were reaching around him squeezing the very breath from him.

            Everything became clear to Jeff at that moment. The only way to solve this problem was to jump.  If he jumped all the pain and anger he felt would go away.  It seemed so simple.  Jeff stepped up to the ledge of the red brick building.  Normally when Jeff would come up here, he would take in to beauty of the view. Not this time.

            Jeff you don't want to do this.  Jeff turned to his left suddenly, looking behind him for the source of the voice he heard. The calm voice sounded so peaceful and so reassuring.  But no one was there.  Jeff was standing alone on the ledge of the building, the wind whipping furiously around him. Alone. Forever.

             The terrible feeling once again rose up in him; the cold fingers nudging him to the edge. Jeff took a step and began falling…falling.  His body turned so that his face was toward the sky and his back to the ground.  He felt his body gaining speed.  As he looked to the ledge of the building from where he stepped, he saw two figures that he hadn't noticed before.  A dark shape; dark as the blackest night with no stars.  The other form was shining as bright as the sun.  The expression on the dark figure was that of satisfaction.  The shining body looked so sad, so very sad. 

            It was at that moment Jeff realized he had made a mistake.  It suddenly became very clear to Jeff. He had listened to the demon instead of the angel. Jeff had fed the demon and starved the angel.  He had chosen dark over light.  Then, he felt the hardness of the sidewalk crash into his body. Darkness. Nothing.